8 months and 11 days- Breastfeeding Journey
Today marks the end (most likely) of my 8mn 11 day journey of breastfeeding L. as I write this and the sadness that this will most likely be the 1st and last time I get to really BF one of my babies it is a chapter I knew would eventually come to a close. It has been an interesting, sometimes stressful, but overall enjoyable experience. It had its ups and downs – starting with taking 40+ mins to nurse, and at one point early on refusing a bottle when I needed to photograph a wedding, then at 5mns she went on a nursing strike, she continuously went back and forth from being willing to nurse to bed to only wanting a bottle, I did a lot of pumping then not pumping, then pumping again, and in the end, She and I settled on an unspoken deal – one where I nursed her in the quiet of the early morning before the day got too hectic and the light too bright. As tired as I am each morning that I have to be the one to go to her at 5, 516, 530, 549, 6, or if luck 615 0r 630 the minute I quietly open the door and peak into that crib my heart melts with love to see that beautiful smiling face looking up at me. In the semi dark and in complete silence – I change her diaper, pick her up and sit in her chair and nurse her. It is one of my most favorite parts of the day. Afterwards I get to snuggle, kiss and talk to my little angel – just she and I. I feel luck I got to come to this point. It was a long road for me… one I contemplated giving up on many times before this and the only reason Im stopping now is that she doesnt seem interested and the struggle to get her to focus is not something I want to worry about anymore. Yes I would have continued well past 12mns if she seemed to want to – but my girl has got other things on her mind – she wants to crawl, and see, and touch and eat, everything she can get near. So as all things in motherhood – a chapter has begun to close and new one is opening for my sweetie and I. My sweet little Lulu – you might not have been the baby to first make me a momma – but this is something that only you and I share – Im proud of us and thankful to you for it. It was something I always wanted to accomplish, and a moment I had hoped to share with my children. I love you and your sister both so much.
Below is the ONLY photo I really have of L and I nursing, before she got all crazy and too awake to focus on eating! It was always too early to capture us together alone – and she was always too distractible to get a shot at another time during the day – this photo however really shows early on how it goes – a baby draped over the dog on my lap a big sister at our side.